WEBSITE CARE + OPTIMISATION · LITCHFIELD PARK, ARIZONA
Most website problems are not hard. They have just been ignored.
I am Bill Belcamino. I keep business websites fast, findable and working — every month, for a flat fee. Start by finding out what is actually wrong with yours. The check below is the same one I run on day one of every retainer.
TRACK RECORD
I have been on both sides of the invoice.
200,000+
Users on the eBay selling platform I ran as COO, acquired by Alibaba
$70M
A year in Google search syndication I owned and operated at Alot.com
9 years
As an engineer at HP, before thirteen more running my own web properties
I have run the engineering side and the marketing side, and I have spent thirteen years on properties where being wrong cost me my own money rather than a client’s. That is why I will tell you which of your problems is not worth fixing.
WHY RETAINERS EXIST
The expensive part is never the bug. It is the six months nobody noticed it.
Websites do not fail loudly. They degrade. A setting gets flipped during a rebuild, a plugin update quietly breaks something, an agency leaves and takes the context with them. Nothing alarms. Traffic just drifts down and everyone blames the algorithm.
A noindex left behind after a rebuild
Someone shipped a staging setting to production. The page disappeared from Google and the traffic chart simply sloped downward for a quarter before anyone connected the two.
The contact form that stopped sending
A plugin update broke the mailer. Nobody found out until a customer rang to ask why they had been ignored for six weeks. Every enquiry in between is gone.
Images nobody has touched since 2019
Four megabytes of hero image on a page that has to load in two seconds on a phone with one bar of signal. It has been like that so long it looks normal.
Redirect chains from the last migration
Three hops to reach every product page. Slow for people, wasteful for crawlers, and invisible on every dashboard you currently look at.
None of this is clever work. It is attention, applied on a schedule. That is the entire premise.
THE WORK
What actually happens every month
Technical health and maintenance
Uptime, SSL, backups, plugin and theme updates handled before they become incidents. Broken links, redirect chains and 404s cleaned up. Crawl and index hygiene checked against Search Console, not guessed at.
Speed and Core Web Vitals
Measured against real Google field data, not a synthetic score I picked because it flatters me. Render-blocking scripts, oversized media, layout shift and the specific things costing you seconds on mobile.
SEO hygiene and content rescue
Your existing pages are usually closer to winning than a new one would be. Titles, headings, internal linking, schema, thin and duplicate content, and a monthly rewrite of whichever page is underperforming hardest.
Conversion work that compounds
Traffic is vanity until someone acts. Clearer calls to action, forms that do not leak, trust signals where doubt actually happens, and small tests run one at a time so you can tell what worked.
Reporting in plain English
One short note a month: what I found, what I changed, what it did, and what I would do next. No forty-page PDF, no dashboard screenshots standing in for a point of view.
Someone to just ask
Most months the most valuable thing is a straight answer to a question you would otherwise sit on for three weeks. Same-day replies on weekdays, and no meter running on a two-minute question.
PRICING
Three tiers. Month to month. No setup fee.
CARE
$500
per month
Someone is watching, so nothing rots quietly.
— Monthly technical health check across the whole site
— Uptime, SSL, backups, plugin and theme updates handled
— Broken links, redirect chains and 404s cleaned up
— Core Web Vitals tracked so regressions get caught early
— Up to 2 hours of small fixes included
— A short written report every month
Best for a site that works and needs to stay that way.
CARE + OPTIMISATION
$1,200
per month · most start here
Watching, plus steadily making it better.
— Everything in Care
— Monthly speed work against real Core Web Vitals numbers
— On-page SEO: titles, headings, internal links, schema
— One underperforming page rewritten or rebuilt each month
— Conversion tracking that reports honestly
— Up to 6 hours of build and fix work included
Best for a site that should be producing more leads than it does.
GROWTH
$2,500
per month
The website treated as a channel, not a brochure.
— Everything in Care + Optimisation
— Keyword and competitor research driving a real content plan
— Two new or substantially rebuilt pages per month
— Technical SEO at scale: indexation, structured data, migrations
— Email and lifecycle work where it earns its keep
— Up to 14 hours included
Best for when organic search is meant to be a revenue line.
Every plan is month to month. No setup fee, no minimum term, thirty days’ notice to stop. And if a month goes by where I cannot find anything worth doing, I will tell you and we will pause the billing rather than invent work.
NOT READY FOR A RETAINER
Start with a teardown. $297, once.
I spend a couple of hours inside your site the way I would spend the first week of a retainer, then record myself walking through it. You get my actual opinion, in order, with the reasoning attached.
What you get
A screen-recorded walkthrough, usually twenty to thirty minutes. A written fix list ranked by what it is worth against what it costs to do. A straight answer on whether a retainer makes sense for you, including when it does not.
What it costs you
$297 once, and about ten minutes of your time to give me access. If you go on to a retainer, the $297 comes off your first month. If I look at your site and think you would be wasting your money, I will say so and refund you.
WHAT PEOPLE SAY
People who have actually worked with me
“I have worked with Bill many times on many projects and he is one of the smartest, hardest working digital marketers I know. His SEO skills are some of the best in the world. He makes complex tasks look easy. If you get a chance to work with him, do it.”
Brad Costanzo · Growth advisor and keynote speaker
“Bill’s grasp of SEO principles and strategies consistently stands out. His analytical mindset allows him to uncover optimization opportunities that significantly elevate online visibility.”
Jasmin Dongon · Digital designer
“He wore many hats, from SEO wizardry to video editing and social media management, and consistently delivered outstanding results. Bill has an innate talent for not just meeting but exceeding client expectations.”
Shannon Nigut · Social media marketing manager
“When it comes to getting things to rank on Google, Bill’s expertise is remarkable. He has a unique ability to turn SEO strategies into tangible results and a strong grasp of marketing funnels and customer journeys.”
Kyle Covey · Award-winning creative director
These are from my LinkedIn recommendations, where you can read all of them in full and check that the people are real.
THE NAME
Why “Average Idiot”
Because it keeps me honest. Almost nothing I find is clever. It is obvious, it has been sitting there for a year, and the only reason it is still there is that nobody was looking. Staying curious about the boring stuff is worth more on a website than being the smartest person on the call.
It also does a useful job of filtering. If the name puts you off, we would probably not have enjoyed working together anyway.
BEFORE YOU ASK
The questions everyone has
What if you do not find anything?
Then I tell you, and we pause the billing until there is something worth doing. I would rather lose a month’s fee than send you an invoice for busywork and have you notice.
What access do you need?
Admin on the CMS, and read access to analytics and Search Console. I do not need your payment processor, your CRM or your bank. If a task needs more, I will ask for it that once and explain why.
Which platforms do you work on?
WordPress mostly, plus Shopify, Webflow and hand-built sites. If it is something genuinely exotic I will tell you before you pay me anything.
Do you do redesigns?
No. I improve what you already have, which is usually the better investment. If you genuinely need a rebuild I will say so and point you at someone who does that well.
Who actually does the work?
Me. There is no team, no offshore pod and no account manager. That is the constraint that makes the honesty possible.
How quickly do you reply?
Same day on weekdays, usually within a couple of hours. If something is broken and costing you money, say so in the subject line and I will jump.
Two ways to start
Run the free check at the top of this page and I will send you the prioritised version, or pay $297 and get my recorded opinion within three working days. Either way you find out what is wrong before you spend anything meaningful.